Sunday, June 12, 2011

guest posts

Pay attention, people, I've got my serious tie on.

A few weeks ago, a blog friend (Mrs. Dr. D) wrote about how much it frustrated her when people learned that her husband was a med student and automatically assumed she was in it for the money and just waiting for the day when she never had to work again. She mentioned that even though she wasn't planning to have an MD after her name, she still planned to make her mark in the world.

I could completely relate. A few years ago I sat down with a friend for dinner, and the first words that came out of her mouth were, "So! Y is in med school now, this means you can stop working soon! That's great!" Aside from all the logistical problems with that statement, I was slightly offended. Did she think I was sitting in my office crossing off the days on my calendar with a giant dollar sign on the day Y graduated? I've known this girl for years, and I think that was a pretty good indicator that she didn't really know me at all.

I always worry that my blog makes it seem like I live and breathe med school and have no life of my own, and I realized after reading MDD's post that a) I don't really talk about my job (mainly because it's not as easily subject to cheap jokes as Y's, and b) I don't know a lot about any of the other medical spouse blogs that I read. I certainly try not to let med school take over my life, and I know most of the other bloggers don't, so I thought it might be interesting to learn more about them and how they will be making their mark on the world. And, maybe, for you to learn more about what I'm doing when I'm not packing Y his lunch and doting on him.

For the past few days I've been out of town learning some skills that will hopefully help me make my mark on the world. So to fill the void of the next few days while I'm still there, I've asked a few of my favorite med school bloggers to weigh in on the subject of not being defined by med school. So stay tuned, and when they're done I'll share with you where I've been hiding.


  1. I COMPLETELY agree. People dont understand the low salaries of Residents and Fellows and then the amount of loans we will be paying back. I will be making almost twice more than him for the next 5 years. Meaning you could make the argument that he is with ME to help him start on loan paybacks, once we get married:) I completed my MBA and looking to go back to school.

    I have admitted that it will be nice if we wait till after residency to have kids and I will have the OPTION to stay home which I am very appreciative for as I am sure not all women get the option. But I most certainly as a business woman would DIE of boredom if all I did was sit at home and watched someone leave for work everyday.

  2. Seriously - I was just having a conversation with other residents' spouses about this. Why is it rude to talk about how much people make UNLESS they're doctors?! (Also, if I were in it for the money, I'd have waited like 12 years to marry him. Duh.)

    Being married to a doctor (especially resident) has to define your life in some ways, because your spouse's time is not his own - but what I guess people don't get is it takes an extra strong and independent woman to fill this role...

  3. love this. thanks for saying what we're all thinking. believe it or not, i did not lie awake at night as a child dreaming of the day that i could be some man's trophy wife.

    i feel like i may experience things with even a slightly more negative spin because we fit THAT stereotype: i'm a nurse! cute! the husband is a doctor and the wife is a nurse! forget about the fact that i CHOSE nursing specifically instead of medicine and that we've both been on our career paths since we started high school. it's frustrating because my own husband is extremely supportive of my career/grad school path and is a champion for nurses (don't get him on his soap box).
    i guess at the end of the day, i know my husband and i are on the same page and that's all that really matters.

    oh and ditto to what Anne said: 'If I were in it for the money, I'd have waited like 12 years to marry him.'