Monday, January 14, 2013

true life: yoga

This is the true story of someone who may or may not be me. 

Every day I unroll my yoga mat, arrange my block, my towel and my water, and I thank the yoga god -- I believe her name is Lulu -- that I'm allowed to practice yoga.

Because I have a secret. I belong to a fancy yoga studio, where the classes consist of shirtless men with six packs and ponytails, and tattooed women with designer yoga pants. Every day I slip in and pretend I'm just like them.

But my yoga pants aren't "wunder unders" or "astro pants". They're a rare style, called The TJ Maxx Seven Dollar Crop. They come complete with two holes in the thigh.

Whenever I see another pair of eyes meet mine in the mirror, I know what they're thinking. Why doesn't her tank top have the same logo everyone else's has? She doesn't belong here. SECURITY!! 

I'll tell you why my tank top doesn't have a logo, yogi mcjudgey eyes. When I read on the internet that Costco was selling no-name brand workout tops for $12 that were supposedly lululemon overstock, I immediately called my sister, a proud Costco member, and made her buy some. Can I get back to my vriksasana now?

It's hard living with my secret. But I get by, one sun salutation at a time.


  1. I've never taken a single yoga class largely because of this. I would get judged hard.

  2. Oye I would definitely feel their eyes burning in the back of my head. Have you ever tried Bikram yoga? I'm pretty sure I would pass out within 5 minutes and interrupt everyone, but I've only heard great things - once you get over the extreme heat!

  3. Agreed!! I wear Target clothes to yoga and feel the same way.

  4. and did you really throw em and wear the target boots you sent me for too?!

  5. Wait. When did Costco have Lululemon shirts? I want!

  6. my uber pricy posh studio is partners with lululemon.... its like a unspoken rule you have to wear it... which i dont