Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Things that are awkward

1. I'm not big on talking on the phone. I never have been, not even when I had a Sabrina the Teenage Witch phone, where Salem the Cat alerted me that the phone was going to ring before it actually happened. (I was not fooled; I knew Salem's voice was just replacing the first ring.)

Lately it's gotten to the point where the only person I speak to on the phone is Y. We tend to say I love you at the end of a conversation -- no matter how mundane --  and it's become a habit.

Which I guess is sweet, but now every time I talk on the phone to someone else, I'm terrified that I'll say I love you at the end of the phone call. On work-related phone calls, I could be talking about an article I need to write, or a message I need to relay, but all I can hear is my inner voice chanting don't say I love you, don't say I love you, don't say I love you. 

2. While taking a group exercise class recently, the teacher yelled, NOW SPEED SKATE! Everyone broke into some kind of synchronized movement that looked vaguely familiar from the last Winter Olympics, but that I can only imagine you are taught shortly after learning to walk in Minnesota. I did jumping jacks.

Don't worry, though, I'm learning. (sidenote: I need a better photographer to follow me around Minneapolis. Y just isn't cutting it anymore.)

3. The other night, I got out of bed in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. When I got back in bed, Y rolled over, said something unintelligible (probably about some patient's vital signs), but then -- very clearly -- called me Kim.

My first, half asleep thought was that I hoped he was having a dream that he was Kanye West. Then I fell asleep.

The next day I remembered what had happened, and the following conversation ensued. I think all of you children of the 90s will agree that Y's attempt to explain himself was just weak:


  1. Last week, I told the pest control guy I loved him at the end of our phone conversation. I panicked and hung up before I could explain myself.

    Are you and I, like, the same person?

  2. I admire the fact that you go to group exercise classes to begin with! And I love that you did jumping jacks. I probably would have pretended to tie my shoes or something.

  3. OMG - my inner voice chants the same thing every time I am on the phone with a customer. hahaha I've NEVER done it before, but have had other people say "i love you' to me. Once it was a lady - and she called back to apologize..haha

    I'm also laughing that your husband came up with DJ Tanner rather than Kanye West...:)

  4. Jared and I email each other from work sometimes, and we end all of our emails with some variation of, "K, LOVE YOU BYYYYE." A few weeks ago I got an email from a soldier that I work with that said, "Ma'am, not to be rude, but your last email was kind of strange and inappropriate." I looked down and I had signed my email to THE SOLDIER with "K, LOVE YOU MMMKAY BUH BYE." OMG how embarassing. The worst is that I wrote him back about how sorry I was and how FUNNY the mix up was, but it was dead silence from him!

  5. DJ really? You're right-she would have never swayed from the Kimmy!

  6. hahahaha. she definitely never would have called kimmy 'kim.'

  7. he should have gone with the kanye story!

  8. Um, I want your Salem the Cat phone. What *does* speed skating look like?

  9. That texting conversation. Yes. 100 times yes. I love it. DJ Tanner and Kimmy Gibbler. Sigh.