You know that cliche, oh-so-hilarious moment that happens in just about every movie ever; where someone is sleeping and is lured awake by a dog licking them? And while it's happening, of course the lickee thinks that their lovaaa is the one licking them? Hilarious.
You see, I woke up to some incredibly passionate puppy kisses. But unlike every character that this has ever fictionally happened to, I knew it was Ike. So I started hitting* him repeatedly. It didn't stop. I started hitting him harder.
But nothing worked. The licking continued. And that, my friends, was the moment I realized I was beating up my husband.