Monday, October 22, 2012

an urban hike in st. paul

Lately I've been feeling kind of lazy. I partially blame the book I've been reading.

Writing a memoir about hiking 1100 miles is just cruel. I'm talking to you, Cheryl Strayed. You start telling me about your journey, about your boots! the stars! how amazing it feels to bathe after walking for miles and miles! and I'm ready to buy out REI and embark on my own physically challenging expedition to find myself. But you've sucked me in to your tale, and now I'm stuck on my couch for the next 4 days, not moving, shoving snacks into my face, desperate to see how it ends. 

Also, a guy jumped from space. 

I managed to make three crockpot meals in the past week. Only one of them didn't burn. That's been my contribution to society lately. 

Inspired, I dragged Y and Ike on our own version of a journey to find ourselves: a three hour hike that was mostly on a paved trail. Baby steps.

Note: I actually wrote the above paragraphs in my head before we actually hiked. I just knew something noteworthy would happen, most likely:
  • I'd get mistaken for a weird celebrity (celebrities I've been told I look like: Cameron Diaz, Suri Cruise, Blair Underwood. Let's recap: Cameron Diaz looks nothing like me, Suri Cruise is four, Blair Underwood is a black man.)
  • I would trip in some hilariously slapstick manner
  • One of us would say or do something ridiculous.
Spoiler alert: It ended up being the latter.

Because while we were walking through the parking lot to our trail, this pulled up.

Out walked the best dressed hiker you've ever seen, and his impossibly adorable little boy. The dad spouted off the history of the trail as he pushed his hair back with his Ray-Bans. The little boy gazed adoringly at his dad.

I don't know what you do when you come across a Cool Dad. Maybe you smile. You probably don't think twice about it.

Y and me? Well, we invent a sitcom about their adventures and spend the next few hours writing the theme song and singing it while hiking. In case you're interested, the song starts "I've got my son for the weeeeeeeeeeeekend", Bradley Cooper plays Cool Dad, and the show is called Custody. As in joint custody. Because, you see, Bradley Cooper and his ex-wife got a divorce after it became clear that she was a lesbian. 

Sidenote: the last time I went hiking was in Central Arkansas during Carol Convention. We made a Justin Bieber music video in the woods. Is it possible that I'm too ADD to hike?

FYI: We "hiked" from Harriet Island to Lilydale Regional Park, through Lilydale, and back. The Lilydale trail winds uphill on what used to be a brick factory, so there are old bricks scattered throughout and a brick oven hiding in the woods. The uphill switchbacks are a pretty good workout and end in a nice view that was probably amazing two weeks ago, before the leaves fell. 


  1. Um, you guys are hilarious! I love that you make up narrative songs about real life events! My husband and I do that occasionally, and then usually bust out laughing and say, "what is wrong with us?!" But, seeing as we aren't the only ones, maybe the answer to that question is "nothing".

  2. I almost had a mess with my coffee when I read Suri Cruise. Seriously? I guess you age well???

    Is the book good? I'm intrigued. Although I don't need anything making me feel any LESS lazy, I'm still curious.

  3. Oooh! The Lillydale area is too pretty :-) LOVE the story you made up about Bradley Cooper (and love that you took a photo of his car too!!) I've been known to make up stories while people watching at the mall and museums. Oh and good job with the crockpot dinners :-)

  4. Haha - you guys look like you're a blast to hike with! And you know it's an urban hike when there's a crime scene body outline involved...

    1. haha! you're so right about the crime scene. I would argue with you and say that we're annoying to hike with!!

  5. Ahh! I LOVE when I see cool dads! So cute. Sounds like y'all had a very eventful hiking expedition ;)

  6. I'm your newest follower! We have lots in common like medical husbands :)


  7. Just imagine the harmony, and a montage of son and dad hiking, driving down the coast, playing paintball, etc.

    ♫ Got my son for the weekend, gonna have a great time.
    We don't need no mom around, we're doin' just fine.
    So let me grab my cool jeans and my classic car
    Put on my ray-bans, and grab my Fender guitar.
    We don't need no mom around, we're gonna have a great time. ♫

  8. Selma Blair maybe? Cuz I can see that. But definitely not Blair Underwood. Oh hey. I just pimped out your blog on the MN Blogger FB page. Is that weird? Probably. Its because I am obsessed with you. Oh well. Carry on.