Sunday, August 12, 2012

the target lady teaches a valuable lesson


"What is this?" asks the cashier, holding the strange fruit gingerly, as if it might eat her.

"A kiwi," I reply, wondering how a person gets through 20+ years of life never seeing a kiwi.

She looks at me angrily. Not only am I stumping her with a strange produce item, she now has to find said produce item on her list and match it to a number. I am making the woman working as a Target cashier do actual work and I am going to get a death glare.

The above describes a typical encounter at a Target in Shreveport, Louisiana. The below describes a typical encounter at a Target in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

"Paper or plastic?" The cashier's smile is so wide I worry her face might split in half. Her pigtails bob up and down as she begins to scan items.

"Paper is fine, thank you," the man replies.

"Okie dokie smokie!" she yells, so loudly I can hear her from four aisles over where I am having a conversation about why some people don't like cilantro with my own cashier. (Sidenote: MY CASHIER KNOWS WHAT CILANTRO IS! What is this magical place?)

The man four aisles over laughs politely. "I say okie dokie smokie too sometimes," he admits. The cashier stops what she is doing. She pumps her fist in the air.

"Okie dokie smokies unite! We should start a club!" She leaves one hand lingering in the air so her customer can give her a high five. Which he does.

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Before I moved to the midwest, I appreciated Kristen Wiig's Target Lady sketch abstractly. I thought I got the joke -- I've watched every single one multiple times and cried silent tears of laughter -- but I'm now realizing that I didn't get the joke. Target ladies are a real thing.  Contrary to popular Southern belief, retail employees are not required to shoot laser beams of hatred out of their eyes.

Life is a little different here, and even though these differences manifest themselves randomly and seemingly insignificantly, you can tell.

It's nice to live somewhere different for a little while.

PS. something to give a little PERRRP to my floor length western dress. 

10 comments:

  1. I've always thought that Midwesterners are THE most friendly people on the planet, and since living in the south, I especially believe it's true. (I'm from Ohio, so perhaps I'm biased?) I love this!!!

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    1. Yeah, people told me I was going to miss how nice Southern people were, but I haven't really noticed a difference. And of course people like cashiers are nicer up here!

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  2. This is awesome!!! Glad your new Target has instilled a sense of friendliness :)

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  3. haha! i LOVE that target lady sketch. if i met a real-life target lady i'd give her a high five too. :)

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  4. when we were there, we asked directions and people actually walked us to the places we were going, recommended several options based on our interests, gave us free bike helmets,....it's pretty good :)

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  5. Target lady in real life?! I love it. That must be a thing in the Target mecca - the cashiers are nice enough here, but not that nice... but I find the Trader Joe's employees to be very enthusiastic about their jobs and whatever products I'm buying, though less loud and crazy.

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    1. omg the Trader Joe's cashiers are RIDICULOUS. In a good way.

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  6. Love this- I know both sides intimately and prefer the Northen version

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  7. Hahah this is hilarious! I love how you were 4 aisles away and heard everything!

    xx
    Giovanna
    www.oliveandanarrow.com

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    1. That Target was busy, too! They were loud.

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