Thursday, August 4, 2011

no guacamole for this dog

I don't know about your dogs (or cats, or whatever other sub par animals you have), but when Ike gets a hold of people food, he inhales it as fast as he can. He most certainly doesn't pause to make sure he likes it. He rarely even chews.

Of course, I only know what happens when we're there.

A few weeks ago, I was on my way out the door with a to-go box meant for the trash. I made it outside, but my to-go box, filled with a chicken taco, rice and beans, didn't quite make it. My motto is always forget one thing at home. That day's thing was my two-day-old Mexican dinner.

When my house reeked of cilantro and cumin upon my return, I realized what I had done. I ran over to the precise corner of our rug that Ike has deemed his special treat-eating place. I found:
  • a styrofoam container, licked clean and ripped in half.
  • a single slice of avocado. Untouched.
If I were to hand Ike a taco right now, he would swallow the entire thing whole. But something different must happen when no human eyes are watching his every move.

I like to believe it includes a fancy picnic blanket, a fork and a knife (and temporary opposable thumbs), and a lobster bib. He sits on his picnic blanket like so:

and delicately lifts each different type of food. "Tortilla shell? Check. Rice and beans? Check. Chicken? HELL YES CHECK. Pico de gallo? Check. Avocado? AVOCADO? How dare they expect me to eat this poor excuse for a fruit? I am a pit bull in a lobster bib, dammit."

And then he leaves the avocado slice on the floor and takes his fourth nap of the day.


  1. I agree with Ike. I'm not a fan of avocado either. :-)

  2. bahaha ohh Ike. Miley's the same - she'll inhale anything. I like imagining them to be classy every once in a while ;)

  3. Ike and my dogs need to hang out so they can teach Ike a thing or two. We had to put a lock on the pantry door because our smart dog figured out how to open it and our other dog assisted in cleaning us out. Then the smart dog would burry the evidence in the back yard and the other dog would barf up what he ate in the living room.

  4. To cute! How does he feel about Broccoli. I wonder if its just avocado or all things healthy? ;)

  5. We like imagining that Ike has a whole secret life while we're gone. I won't go into specifics, because then you might think I'm weirder than you already do.

    V - Ike LOVES broccoli, and pretty much anything else green. Asparagus, brussels sprouts, green bell peppers you name it. He must not like all the fat in avocado...?

    Chaile - your dogs remind me of Hyperbole and a Half's dogs! Have you seen this?

  6. oooooh naughty dog! my dog especially loves cookies, candy and ice! i don't think she's nearly as classy as ike though!