Friday, May 3, 2013

sweat on the back of my knees and the kkk: things that make me uncomfortable

Well, now that I have experienced one of the longest Minnesota winters in recent history, I think I can safely say this: I prefer snow in May to heat and humidity in November.

When people asked why I wasn't worried about moving to Minneapolis, I shrugged. I like cold weather, I told them. (Then I went behind their back and made a really passive agressive video about them.) 

You'll see, they said.  You're going to wish you never left. You haven't experienced real winter.

Sure, I have!
 I replied. One time I went to Chicago and wore a scarf and light jacket! AND, there is a photo of me as a baby building a snowman on my high chair in a freak Houston snowstorm.

They were right, of course. With the exception of three early childhood years in Holland, I was born and raised in Texas and Louisiana. Winter was a three-day stretch in December where the temperature dipped to 37 degrees.

But you know what? I just had a feeling I would be okay.

In Louisiana, my entire life I've dreaded spring, because I know that after spring comes summer and with it, the sticky feeling of being trapped in my own skin -- sweaty, pale skin that I don't think was ever meant to be exposed to sunlight. 

this is how I feel about heat. my bangs agree.

I can't explain why I can't stand the feel of sweat pooling on the backs of my knees, or sweaty curls stuck to the back of my neck, or the smell of hot pavement after a 90 degree rainstorm. I just know that by the end of a Louisiana June, most of the time I just want to curl up in a cool, dark corner for the next 4 months, when I can finally walk outside and feel a chill in the air. 

The point of my post: hot weather makes me uncomfortable.

You know what else makes me uncomfortable? When you're enjoying a nice lunch on a patio, and someone at your table -- who, in his defense, is not from this country and possibly isn't too familiar with American History -- decides to make a mask to entertain the child at the table who is quickly growing restless. 


  1. You survived! And the nice thing about that is the Minneapolis summer is bound to be much more pleasant than the sticky Louisiana summer, and I bet you'll love it... Other than that, I say the grass is always greener: having had real winters my entire life, I'm willing to take a little extra humidity to get away from it. (Don't ask me in August though as I'm sure to contradict myself!)

  2. I'm the exact opposite! While hot, sticky weather makes me feel gross, the winters are too long in Boston. Although, I'm not sure this is true in Minneapolis but generally summers are nicer up north. They're not as sticky as often. Although, I'll be 9 months pregnant by the end of this summer, so I'm sure that I will eat my words.

  3. A crisp fall is my favorite! The second it gets humid my smile turns upside down.

    An that last picture is ridiculous! lol

  4. there is nothing compared to that first crisp, cool-feeling fall day after a long Louisiana summer. I always proclaim that 'football weather has finally arrived!' Not that I really know anything about football... ;)

  5. ew sweat on the back of your knees...the worst!!!

  6. I agree about sweat on the back of the knees. But what's worse is when you get sweat stains on your butt. MY WORST NIGHTMARE, and happens pretty much all the time in Texas if you decide to dine al fresco between the months of June and September. I'm constantly asking Jared, "Do I have butt sweat?" The answer is usually, "Only a little." EMBARASSING.

  7. The KKK child with Hello Kitty boots. That's one for the scrapbook for sure!

  8. that last picture and the story behind is too funny! *awkward*

  9. Who would have thought that the grandchild of Russian immigrants would find the heat uncomfortable?

  10. My sister lives in Minneapolis and today on the phone she told me it was snowing!!! Man oh man. You are a brave soul and I feel for you! Hot and sticky with sweat or bundled up shivering with the cold... harsh weather is tough! I can totally relate. Also, wow about the white napkin. That's shocking! I kind of felt that way when I watched The Holiday (have you seen it?) and Jude Law does "Mr. Napkinhead" with ___(I won't spoil who it's with, in case you haven't seen it!) It's pretty harmless, but one can never be too careful. Am I right? Great post, thanks!!

  11. We have it the worst in the midwest, esp in the summer. It feels like soup outside, my hair hates it, my body hates it and the only thing that feels good is the disgusting Mississippi River. Blech.

    i couldn't help but wonder...

  12. Bahahaha omg that mask. So terrible.

    And yes - I hate heat as well. I am a figure skater - so I LOVE the cold. I sweat in the oddest places's just horrible. Even on vacation to a hot place, I'm SO ready to leave after a week.

  13. Oh laws, that mask.

    But yes, sweat, sweat anywhere makes me uncomfortable. Thank goodness I no longer live in Pennsylvania with those drench filled days. Thank freaking goodness.