Friday, April 2, 2010

The Passive Aggressives

Y gets, in my opinion, unreasonably angry about many things. Maybe you've heard how much he hates the game Apples to Apples?

I guess usually my laid back attitude complements Y's, well, not laid back attitude. But yesterday, we had a bonding experience when something pissed us both off equally.

We were standing by the gate to enter a set of two tennis courts, one of which was occupied by a group of pastel clad women playing doubles. As we waited for them to take a break so we could walk behind them to get to our court, one woman adjusted her diamond tennis bracelet and snapped at us, "You need to use the other gate." We didn't realize there was another gate, so we probably gave her a look like this:

She looked at us like "our kind" was the downfall of her beloved tennis court. "You're going to cross our court while we're in the middle of a point," she pre-accused us snootily. This made us angry.

As if we were so dumb that we were going to just walk in the middle of their court as they were playing?? Please. Look lady, my tennis outfit may just be a pair of random leggings and a men's Hane's v-neck-- and that's only because my tennis skirt was in the dryer, but even if I had been wearing my tennis skirt, it has two holes in it and it's from high school 10 years ago and my high school was --gasp-- public, and there was a stabbing outside of my homeroom and people were busted for drugs 2 streets over and my husband might be wearing my dad's polo shirt from the 70s and is in dire need of a haircut and our tennis rackets might be from Wal Mart but THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T HAVE BASIC COMMON SENSE.

That's what was running through my mind. Y told me his was brimming with all kinds of really clever insults: "I hear that being a raging bitch is the leading cause of early menopause." Not quite as well spoken as his Apples to Apples rant, but I would have loved to hear him shout that across the court. And then ran and hid.

So what did the dynamic duo to retaliate when our intelligence was questioned? We used the other gate. And went on with our match. And passive agressively ran really fast to grab our stray balls, heaven forbid they cross the other court in the middle of a point. And in Yoni's case, made up really awesome insults that would, sadly, never see the light of day.

Go team.


  1. Hmmm...we may never be able to have game night together. Shawn and I adore Apples to Apples. Mostly because of the subjectivity. We tend to lose at games that require actual brain power/skill :P

  2. when I got the email "Yoni has replied to your comment..." I expected something pretty typical "you're stupid, Sarah." and then I read that glorious Nazi-Apples2Apples rant and I was just in awe. Awe.

    oh, and screw those tennis bitches.

  3. p.s. the title of this post is missing a "g" in aggresives. I KNOW you know how to spell it; the only reason I'm telling you is before Yoni notices and comments with some nonsense about spelling and how you leaving off that g is a direct cause of world hunger.

  4. aaaaaaaaaaand I missed an "s" in aggressives. what the hell is with that word.

  5. I'm glad someone appreciates his crazy analogies. I'll tell him to e-mail you next time he comes up with a great one... and I'm glad you caught my mistake before I got a lecture, although if a missing letter causes world hunger, Yoni's spelling would probably cause the end of the world.