the quotable Y

The scene: I'm writing my grocery list to make my very first Minnesota hot dish:

Me: Can you just buy tater tots?

Y: Of course you can buy tater tots. This is AMERICA! Do you think all of the obese people in this country MAKE their own tater tots?

...

The scene: we're playing trivial pursuit with some friends at a bar/bakery (can we all agree that that combo is the best idea ever?) 

Y asks a question.

Y: What does a pineapple not do after it's picked?

Me + another friend: Ripens!

Y: That is the correct answer, but I also would have taken "murder someone" or "attend church."

...

The scene: I'm climbing in to bed. Y is [mostly] asleep after a long day in the ER:

Me: You're warm!

Y: That's because I'm not hooked up to an oxygen tank like the rest of these idiots.

...

The scene: we're walking Ike and a rabbit runs across the street:

Me: I want to see some baby animals. Isn't that what's supposed to happen in spring? I want to see a baby rabbit. Or a baby lamb.

Y: A baby lamb?

Me: Yes. I want it to be just born, not about to become a sheep. When does a lamb become a sheep, anyway?

Y: After its baaaaaaa mitzvah, obviously. 

...

The scene: I'm playing with Ike and his stuffed snake, and speaking in my best high pitched baby voice. Y is tying his shoes on the other side of the room.

Me: Ike! Go get your snake! What's its name? Is it Mr. Snakey??

Y: IT'S JEROME.

Huh. I guess it is Jerome...

For a few more Y quotables that might be slightly TMI, check out Medicine: A Love Story today.