things you should have told me about Minnesota

To all of you who oh-so-helpfully pointed out that Minnesota was cold, here's what you should have warned me about:

• The thunderstorms are long, frequent, and heavy on the lightning. 
• If you ride your bike at night, you'll get hit in the face with a wall of mosquitoes.
• Basements? Terrifying.
• Minnesotans apparently did not learn the art of merging in drivers' ed.
• Your local hardware store chain (Menard's) and your iPhone will not get along. (context: this conversation was about buying a new fan) 

on the first day of residency...

...Y was home by 3 and we spent the afternoon playing croquet and badminton in our friends' backyard. I hear every day is equally as relaxing. 

And then for the main event, over bratwurst and beers we listened to a story about a foreskin procedure. Complete with a demonstration using a bottle and a coozie for all of the non medical people out there (me). 


This is my life. Coozie foreskins and all. 


It's not too bad. 

typical

A typical conversation in our house:


Me: LOOK! A BUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*silence*


Y: You are almost thirty.

intoxicated

I heard this quote at my brother-in-law and his girlfriend's graduation, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I would argue, however, that the fumes of hardwood floor stain and paint in varying shades of grey are even more intoxicating. So intoxicating that I've started seeing things; in my hallucinations Targets are backwards, TJ Maxx carries runway brands, and everyone sounds like Sarah Palin. 


Since I don't believe in blogging under the influence, I hope you understand my little hiatus. I'm slowly figuring out a routine, and I'll be back here sharing my adventures as a resident's wife (and a lost Southerner in the midwest) as soon as I do.