Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Woman Realizes She’s Pregnant After Insufferable Fruit and Vegetable Comparisons

 Minneapolis, MN – One Minneapolis woman has finally realized the cause of her inane fruit comparisons.
 
“The first time it happened was in a strategy meeting at work,” says Daci Platt, 30. “For some reason, it just occurred to me to compare the size of our logistical problem to a papaya.”
 
“It was accurate,” admits former colleague Lisa Furman, “The problem was actually about that large. But no one else on our team would have ever thought to describe it that way. We thought she was a genius.”
 
Over the next few weeks, Platt’s husband, Yoni, says he noticed the fruit comparisons happening more often and without warning. “She sent back her meal at a restaurant because it was the size of a plum and she was expecting it to be the size of a grapefruit,” remembers Yoni. “Frankly, it’s embarrassing.”
 
Platt says it was a comment at the dog park that convinced her to take a pregnancy test. “I was there with my dog, Ike – he’s about the size of a watermelon, for reference – and this puppy came up and sniffed him.” Platt remembers she squealed over the puppy and informed its owner that it was “the size of a butternut squash.”
 
“The puppy’s owner smiled knowingly and asked how far along I was,” laughs Platt. “I stared at her blankly. She whispered, ‘I’m 6 weeks and the nausea is unbearable, but thank God my fruit comparisons are pretty mild.’”
 
That’s when it clicked, Platt says. She left the dog park immediately and stopped at Target to pick up a few “carrot sized” pregnancy tests.  “Sure enough,” she says, “They were all positive.”
 
Baby Platt is due in February and the Platts would like everyone to know that they are aware it will be cold that month -- and they couldn't care less than a garbanzo bean.